Remember To Live

As you all know so much has happened in my life in the last 3-4 months. Graduated university, got another internship, have a job offer out of state. I feel like everything Ive been doing so far has been to satisfy some purpose or goal that is the dream or wish that others had for me. You all know the drill get good grades, go to college, graduate get a job then go work. There is so much I think I missed out on in terms of some life experiences I wish I had lived in a dorm during university, or had gone to school out of state. My whole life has been just confined to this handleful of suburbs, I’m not gonna sit here and say my childhood and growing up wasn’t nice but everything felt pretty planned out. I honestly can’t remember the last time I did something important for myself, without compromise. There is always some bigger picture or timeline to think of it and I’m starting to feel like its killing any enjoyment I gain from life. I’ve spent so much time constantly thinking, planning, and stressing that it feels as if I’ve given up what makes me well me.

Idk I’ve already achieved what I thought of as wishful thinking just a few years ago, but none of it felt like it was for me. I want to make selfish decisions for once and put myself ahead of everything. I’m quite jealous of those in my life who put themselves at the forefront of their decisions, I want to be selfish.